Legally Blonde

Before I killed my keyboard (see below), I’d been writing prayers for Tuesday. Michael’s birthday. Michael’s memorial service because he didn’t come home for his birthday. How can you have a funeral instead of Christmas? How can you have a celebration of your amazing, short life, instead of your birthday??! All too weird. Anyway, Jen managed a rescue mission and transferred what I needed to another computer I can borrow for a few days, so I’ve finished, tidied and revised said prayers. It’s going to be very odd being involved in such a service. I’ve only been to one before, for my Grandfather – he was a knight, a general, an octagenarian, and his memorial service was in Westminster abbey, with all the great and good in attendance. I don’t for a minute want to suggest that this is similar – or lesser. This is a service for a friend, a 23 year old, it feels all wrong that we should be having one at all.

I went to church this evening – ooh, two nights running! – for the Ash Wednesday Eucharist, 1662 style. There were 19 of us there, mostly ancient (I think I halved the average aga just by turning up!) and mostly, I suspect, because that’s the “real words, the one we grew up on, the only time we get the proper service now, none of your progressive malarkey…”

Although I understand and sympathise with this point of view, I don’t share it. I enjoy that service occasionally because it is just that – occasional. When we use the Same words in the Same order off the Same booklet every time we “do church” (look at Lanark while we’re on the subject!), we cease to understand or worship in the same way. I know it’s a cliche’ but not for nothing “familiarity breeds contempt”. We’re saying the words because they’re the words we say, we read them together parrot fashion and it is just possible we completely miss the point.

Precisely because it is unfamiliar, archaic language, I have to concentrate more, hear it afresh, be hit between the eyes with the force of the reason behind the ritual. In our normal sunday service book the invitation is “Draw near with faith and receive the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.” In the 1662 Communion Service it is no less welcoming but asks each communicant to examine his motives beforehand: “You that do truly and earnestly repent of your sins, and are in love and charity with your neighbours, and intend to lead a new life following the commandments of God and walking from henceforth in his holy ways, draw near with faith and take this holy Sacrament to your comfort.”

Obviously only God sees the person’s heart but I am cynical – 12 minutes after taking up the second invitation to communion, twelve of the 19 there were having quite a bitchy conversation in the porch on the way out, and one of them swore at the tramp who was trying to get out of the rain by standing under the lych gate.

Made me think, anyway, and that’s not always a bad thing.

So, now it’s Lent – what are you giving up/taking up/doing differently at all for the next six weeks?? (I already had tea and chocolate today before remembering it was today…)

I poured a mug of tea (stupidly but not deliberately!) into my keyboard this afternoon = can’t type without letters making weird connections and opening other stuff – I’m doing this from a different computer – so if I don’t reply or post for a bit it’s while I’m waiting for the keyboard to dry out (or find a spare to borrow and plug in!)

Michael’s memorial service is next week. I shan’t tell you what I feel about that. You don’t want to know, honestly. Sorry. On a more positive note, preparation for the first Tong Len fundraiser is underway, Pub Quiz and supper at the Parish Centre on 21st April. Does any of you kind wibloggers want to be involved?!? Donate a stonking Raffle Prize, or bring a team to join in, or help with logistics of setting up, food, selling tickets etc… tell everyone! this is my current Project, w hile the study is still a tip and the weddingness I promised not to get bogged down in details for the next 13 months!!

Dai watched Scott Quinnell’s interview about the Dore programme and his struggle with Dyslexia – and found it helpful :):) mostly he gets very cross if I suggest anything that might help or show he’s not alone.

One of my best friends who I sadly lost touch with before benjamin was born is back in touch. When I last knew her well, I had v long hair and she short and choppy. Suffice to say, we’ve swapped! Facebook is fab. (and a mixed blessing – someone I deliberately lost touch with is also popping up on the radar…)

Work was horrid today – apart from one friendly patient who saw me reading Wedding Ideas Magazine and told me she was a cake maker and florist and because I’m lovely and she knows me thro the Clinic I’d get a whopping discount – maybe I’ll look her up when I’m allowed to start concentrating on what Dai and my mother call “only details darling.” B and I were both not v well, and left early, and borrowed Lotta, and went for long drive to calm down, and organise some practical stuff, for all three Projects (but I also did something very silly on one of them – sent a question and asked for help and managed not to attach the thing I meant to ask for help with – durrh!) but the other two are making PRogress which is a Good Thing.

Yoga has a week off because of Half Term (yes, yes, I know it’s a week different from Ingerland!!) but my willing Tuesday babysitter was still willing, so I had the chance to go to the Healing Communion at church and focus a little on how quickly Lent crept up on me this year, and what I’m going to do about it, and chat to the Vicar about Marriage Preparation Day (sounds scary but involves free food and only a bit of talking…!), and have some much-needed time out…

Tomorrow we go to Parkmill with the Church Family Day out – knock down prices, music and entertainment for under-fives (can I pretend still to be young … please?!) then catch up with beloved and his parents in the p.m. before Ash Wednesday Eucharist (D brilliant man volunteered babysitting).

I am trying to deal with Stuff for next week, next month and next year, and it’s overwhelming, but rather wonderful all the same

Branding gets everywhere-I've just had to buy “pooh bear oranges” I s'pose that's taking a 2 y o shopping for you

Work is busy and, like the curate’s egg, good in parts. Other parts, though, even more annoying and I’m so glad I’m only there another fortnight! The news is filtering out and there have been some unexpected reactions, not all bad!

I’ve been flying around being organised – absolutely lovely as it is having plans, and people staying, and that sort of thing, it takes me a week or so to wind down and catch up with the tiredness/washing it generates. I’m nearly on top of things here. My current project is the study – but like all big tidies and revamps, it has to get worse before it gets better. I try to ration myself and have nights off but also want to keep going at it to get it done! Once I’m filed and clear a bit, I can throw myself more into the other two big projects on the back-burner of my mind – Tong Len fundraising and Wedding planning! (edit: three big projects – I haven’t forgotten job-hunting too.)

This morning Dai dragged me off on a magical mystery tour – to Gowerton! – and we rebooked the cars and carriage (ours is the victoria, middle right and bottom left pics; it’ll be painted deep dark red before then). It’s exciting all over again If we get the big things at least booked this far ahead, we can relax and think about the details nearer the time. Church, reception venue, photographer – and now transport – all ticked.

The boys have gone swimming and I’m having some desk/study time – or I will be once I stop updating you with happy pointless waffling! Right, back to it…

tired, happy, jobhunting, in love, able to have a grown up drink in pub with friends, tired, just about on top of housework, still fighting with the council, busy with Tong Len and wedding planning, and tired.

just a quick update then!

Did you know state benefits were taxable? I earned more as skint single working mother from state than from legit work= I O 1/3 of it to taxman! Aargh.

how not to be cowed by snotty council jobsworths: stride in,smart,polite,in a hurry,and let THEM stutter+apologise-makes a lovely change! I win.

Yes, don’t worry, I was going to type it again … but after supper, bath and bedtime for Benjamin, and supper and washing up for my parents and me. (and before Foyle’s War starts, so I’m doing it quickly and far less coherently and newsworthily than the earlier attempt!!) Honestly, the suspense – you impatient lot!

The bad news… the Rugby. Pick a match, any match – complete shower, what a waste of a weekend, it almost makes me ashamed to wear the red shirt. Hmmph. (Thank you lots for worried “hope not too bad” comments – not the end of the world!) Just as Wales lost, Dai asked me to marry him again.

The Good, on the other hand… Dai and I are so much happier, stronger, and better together since Christmas, we’re properly back on track (after much talking and careful considering), and this afternoon, after I’d cooked for both sets of parents (we can JUST squeeze 7 (6 1/2) of us round our table!), he asked my Daddy again properly, and we’ve re-set the date It’s his birthday next year (no excuse for forgetting his anniversary!!), the superstitious among you may caution me to beware the Ides of March but hopefully it’ll be more auspicious for us than Caesar!! I am stuck with this wide wide grin every time I think about it. I have promised not to go too mad with planning at this stage – I haven’t checked with the venue, that’s tomorrow morning’s job, but the vicar has pencilled us in for the new date, including carrying over the non-refundable deposit. All well so far