Legally Blonde

which usually would be really exciting, but today is just cold.

i must have turned into a boring grown up since the week after Christmas! I’m at home cos the lurgy from the other week is back with a vengeance. I could barely breathe, and every “Swansea Clinic, Good Morning” set me off into paroxysms of coughing. Not a brilliant advert, has to be said.

Maybe I was wrong last summer when I said yes, I can juggle work and motherhood, and persuaded them to let me come back after Maternity Leave. I’m succumbing to BB’s every freshers’ bug from Day Nursery!

What film shall I watch?! I’m under strict instructions to rest and not do housework, and the warmest way would be to curl up under the duvet on the sofa… suggestions on a postcard please (or just down there in the commenty bit if you prefer!)

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but seriously, I’m interested. The other was so not what I expected! Can you do the same again for me here? Thank you x

Update thank you all lots for lovely comments!

The workiscrap situation continued today – I forced someone’s hand slightly, which was either v brave or v stupid, and then had to take the consequences, which were both hugely productive and absolutely devastating. I wish I hadn’t had to, but I’m kind of glad I did. I managed to convey the seriousness of a situation without having to break a promise or resort to blackmail, and stayed calm and not tearful (not at the time, anyway, and that’s the important thing!). Nothing’s really resolved, which is pants, but the person concerned is more aware that it does need addressing. If anyone has any spare prayers for strength and focus in a difficult situation, and guts to do the right thing, then send them this way, please!

I have a horrid accumulating pile of Important Urgent Paperwork starting to take over the world (or at least my desk) again, so I’d best love you and leave you and get back to it.

Thank you lots for listening.

Pamela put me up to this; I wasn’t sure whether to be intrigued or terrified. Do your worst!! No, seriously, I’m interested. Please? Thank you!

In other news…

lovely relaxed happy weekend with babe in a good mood, hardly crossed anything off the domestic to do list but sometimes life’s too short.

came to Big Decision about Difficult Stuff. have yet to implement it, however.

had food and sleep – lots !

I love my work again.

Fridays are always (usually) better than Thursdays. It was busier, and I felt useful again. One of the partners (not the one I’m usually griping about here!!) bought a clinic laptop so when he asks me to do letters or bills I can do them there and then rather than having to bring them home and stress about doing them in my (rather than clinic!) time. He saw me typing fast, and still juggling with diaries, phones, patients etc. When I’m busy again I’m in my element! He said he’s going to give me a lot more in terms of the paperwork, and if I’m busy and responsible it might help the workiscrap situation generally.

Also, the particular partner i’m usually having – um – issues with isn’t in on a Friday.

Yay

Have good weekends, all!

Had a lovely time after school today, Mummy didn’t take me straight home as usual but we went to visit calum and ailsa and had fruit (yummy – mummy’s so glad I prefer nabanas to biscuits!) and played with a truck – calum kept trying to build it but I’m demolition baby and kept taking the bits he needed and eating them, and ailsa let me eat her new phone!! (mummy despairs of me, I love phones, zappers, remotes, mobiles, you name it, and there are LOTS in our house, but only a couple (without batteries!) that I’m allowed to play with…)

After that we went to the swings swings in brynmill which i absolutely love then home for tea. I got really really grumpy while mummy was taking ages cooking some mince and tomatoes and carrots, so she gave me a norange to keep me going – yay, more fruit – and I squirted the juice everywhere which was really funny but mummy kept trying to clean me up. What it is it with grown ups?? do they not get the joy of mess? it’s exploring! I love it.

Talking of which, after that I had a bath – I LOVE bath-times but I prefer the splishing, splashing and sploshing, playing with my ducks and boats and blowing bubbles and getting mummy and everything else in the bathroom as wet as possible – BUT mummy seems to think it had to involve getting clean as well. Gosh, I HATE the flannel, and I like my dirt!! specially under my chin, and I scream and splash but after she’s dealt with the worst of the supper on my face she lets me splash and giggle, and helps with blowing bubbles, and reads to me.

I haven’t been sick since Tuesday so I’m allowed back in nursery, but after nursery days I’m really tired, so I settled well this evening mummy’s so pleased, she hopes I might go through the night again for the first time in weeks… doesn’t she realise, 5 am’s fun! and now there’re birds and light again, how’m I supposed to know the difference between 5 and 7?? I don’t tell the time yet, I’m not yet 14 months old. Honestly, grown ups, I ask you.

Two things in work today

One – I was asked to do something really someone else should have done; but they said this was because I would be better at it, and it would be good for me -confidence, experience- to take it on. And I did. And I’m glad I did, because of the reactions afterwards. (Altho I still think the person whose job it really was should’ve done it!)

Two – I had a necessary but difficult conversation with one of the partners, after he saw me scouring the jobs pages of the Western Mail (oops, not v tactful to jobhunt from work, I will admit!). It was good to have said some things that needed saying, but left me in a horrible state for the rest of the afternoon.

I seem to have a lot of Thursdays like this recently!

I had a good productive day and did (nearly) all that I’d hoped to. It’s a bit of a cheat, because I tend to put less on the list these days, because I know I’ll mind when I can’t achieve as much as I set out to. Perfectionist, moi?! BB really enjoyed Tots this morning and was showing off his walking lots – the balance is beginning to catch up with the confidence, but there are still heart in mouth moments watching him heading for a b ump (he doesn’t steer yet).

I saw some gorgeous photographs of B and my parents from when they were here the weekend before last

I had a relatively relaxed evening on the sofa with the paper and the telephone, including a good conversation with Strawberry Pip, the non-Swansea leg of our teepee (altho this is also bad, because I only could because I wasn’t at housegroup!)

Oh yes, and of course, definitely good, I had a chance to blog again

I’m not just bad at updating. I’m also (sometimes) bad at food, a bad mother and a notworththename friend.

I’m being bullied rather a lot about food at the moment (which is a good thing, i’m not complaining, tis helpful) but do much better with company. I need to stop assuming things and start actually asking them, but then I run the danger of sounding needy, pressureful, crowding and a nag. So having acted on a misunderstanding then realised my mistake, I thought I should eat anyway (!) and found a cheating meal that looked really nice in the fridge, but wasn’t at all when it came to eating it. Still, warm enough, and had protein and veg, so it’ll have to count. I’ll fill up on toast later, maybe.

Baby B is still not 100%. I had thought he was a lot better after the weekend’s vomiting but Tuesday morning when I’d only been in work half an hour the nursery rang. I had to try and get one of the other receptionists to come in to cover for me then go and collect the babe, who was in a perfectly cheerful mood again by then but had apparently thrown his breakfast straight up again. I mind terribly that I mind having to leave work, it makes it sound as though I put the clinic before the babe and resent him. This is absolutely not true, but having just had a week off (holiday) followed by a week off (sick – me!) I didn’t then want to take more time for sick (him!) – I enjoy work, and since having gone back (I know this is going to sound evil and you should all shop me to the social) actually quite look forward to my non-baby days. Cue ambivalence about wanting to go to my ill child set against not wanting to let down my patients (it is absolute chaos there when no-one’s on the desk).

He is a lot better today, but that could be partly because I’ve had him on (evil mummy again) starvation rations of no dairy, so toast and marmite without butter, and water or juice rather than milk. The plus side is he hasn’t been sick since, but the downside is that he’s been shouting and angry (poor child, he’s probably a bit hungry now he’s feeling better, but I’m still being ultra careful because I’m getting really sick (sorry) of clearing up, changing us both three times in one hour and running the washing machine far more often than usual, so don’t want to do anything to risk it again yet!!) which hasn’t helped either of our moods in terms of sleep and rattiness.

I’ve also been feeling a bit grey because of another misunderstanding this afternoon, and am now starting to question my sanity and grasp of English(!); it is becoming a not uncommon phenomenon for me to feel hurt/let-down/stupid while the person/people involved would be astonished at my reading of the situation and don’t mean anything of the sort intentionally. (On a good (objective) day I can lay this sort of thing squarely at the doors of Tiredness and Asperger’s Syndrome, but if I’m reacting like this then it’s a fairly good bet I’m *not* being objective or rational in the slightest, so I don’t always notice that at the time, and do a brilliant job of beating myself up about it.)

Had such a late night yesterday (not like that!) that we forgot to put bins out for 2nd week running, it’s beginning to mount up (specially the glass recycling!)

One of the things I really meant to remember to tell you when I had my week off (I said I would blog more about it, but it’s three weeks ago now, and haven’t – bad):

The absolute Luxury of the little things that to some are mundane but become special stolen treasures after you’re a busy tired mum; for example, I had a bath with candles and essential oil rather than ducks and bubbles (no offence to birdie or other ducks who may be reading…!) and it felt like playing truant, it was amazing. I followed that with an early night with a good book. Unheard of in the last 15 (or so) months!