Legally Blonde

Didn’t get it. I’m ok about not getting it, but I’m not very ok about how they handled things this week, not telling me, how they told me, lies and stupidness, in fact treating me very shabbily actually. That’s not sour grapes, just how it is. How sad – I am no longer a little cynical about some things, but completely disillusioned about almost everything. I had hoped and assumed that the church might treat people a little more humanly, sensibly, courteously than the nhs. It isn’t not getting it, it’s how I didn’t get it. What a waste of the last three months – time, effort and money down the drain. tired now.

it’s one of our actions in the Love Life Live Lent course Benjamin and I are doing.

only problem is… our Lolly Lady is diabetic. Last year she didn’t make too much of a thing about it, took it from B very sweetly (hah!) and only mentioned to me on the way back from school that she’d given it away ’cause couldn’t have sweets.

this year, same actions (some are a bit different, but that one is still in there. obviously popular!)

now that I know that she can’t have them, what do we do? give her one and ask her to tick the box anyway? give her one but ask her to give it to the next child that crosses? (ooh, health and safety police alert – and the new Independent Safeguarding Authority – jump to it!) make or draw her one that has no sugar?! pretend we can’t remember last Lent and give her a lolly anyway??

suggestions on a postcard please (or in the comments section, at least) – thanks you

they both swam brilliantly this evening … Jack getting a lot more confident and interested, spluttering less, grinning and kicking all the time, and Benjamin had his – wait for it, drum roll please – 50 m badge yes that’s right my brilliant boy did two whole lengths unaided. I am so proud of them.

Yeah, I know, no update for ages, no apologies, tired busy mummy, it says so on the tin! Bursting with wanting to tell everyone tonight though!

I had been going to blog about how lovelly it is now my baby is sleeping longer, but I fear that may have jinxed it!

Over the last week or so I have brought his night feed earlier, until for two nights running he dropped it altogether. 7-7 at 6 months? yay. we have our evenings back, and even the toughest things seem so much more manageable when sleep deprivation is taken out of the equation!

Misplaced optimism, I’m afraid – last night he was up at midnight, 3 and half past 5. This morning he’s a brilliant bouncing giggling growing baby, and I’m one tired mummy!

Been on a little wander down memory lane. I wanted to find a link I thought I posted just before Benjamin was born, and got sidetracked trawling through the archive. Posts from 8th December (or the nearest, when I wasn’t blogging so regularly!)

5 years ago I love this from the Buy Nothing Christmas website: “Everything I wish for this Christmas is time. Time to spend with those I love, time to think, time to talk, time to read, time to laugh, time to be silent.” To which I would add, time to be with and thank God for the greatest gift of all, that of his Son as one of us.

4 years ago (strange coincidence, I’ve just done another of these!)

Random Five Dee tagged me, so in the spirit of the thing I’ll have a go. The trouble is, there’s probably very little random little-known information left, since I seem to spill most things on here.

Fact One: I’m allergic to Penicillin. It brings me out in huge bright red blotches that itch like crazy (I was going to use a much stronger word!). I discovered this on my twelfth birthday when I was going to the theatre in London’s West End and I barely remember the play, which was one I’d been longing to see, as I was concentrating on not causing too much disturbance wriggling and scratching, and spent most of the evening in Tears. Since then I’ve remembered to make a note of this Fact in Every diary, donor card, doctor or hospital questioning. Apparently it’s not that unusual.

Fact Two: I hate crowds. Not in a claustrophobic way, particularly, or disliking people, but the way they make me react. Part of it is A.S. and I have to live with it, and deal with things/people/situations etc as they come up, and learn the more “normal” (usual/appropriate) reactions. I speak before thinking, if I think at all, and become so scratchy irritable it’s not true. It makes me sound incredibly childish and rude (perhaps I’m that too?!). Anyone who’s coped with me in town on a Saturday or in Tesco of an evening will have some idea of this!

Fact Three: Long, long ago, it seems another lifetime, I fenced for London Schools and rode to C standard, as well as for University as an undergrad.

Fact Four: When I was engaged, I pictured me at thirty as married with two or three children, an Aga and a thriving small business run from home. Ha ha. God laughs at the best laid plans, and offers us Life instead! Thirty’s twenty months hence and I have not quite one of the above. But in a funny sort of way, I’m sure that’s not really what I’d’ve wanted if I’d had it. Having Benjamin, despite the circumstances, is absolutely the best thing that has ever happened.

Fact Five: I have a complete aversion to anything fake. Silk flowers set my teeth on edge and pretend Christmas trees make me feel like you do if you run your nails or a too-squeaky chalk down a blackboard. I really, really, really can’t take it. Of course, I have to, and learn to react less, or less overtly, but it’s not easy. Today in work I was asked to thread the lights etc round the “tree”. I was very nearly ill afterwards. Strange but true (and possibly also related to AS).

Five More Victims: Sarah, Wood, Pants, Nessa, Jo

3 years ago
Belated thanks to Em and Rhys for the stonking pre-Christmas sing and drink they laid on last thursday. B surprised us by staying up late without melt-down, in fact nearly stealing the show at one point as Rhys had shown him the keyboard and said he didn’t mind him pressing buttons. We were singing “See amid the winter snow” and in the second chorus B pressed some random rhythm buttons and we had to try to finish the carol over a soft rock sort of beat without corpsing – I failed, and sat in tears of laughter unable to sing on. B danced away clapping and flirting.

I was nervous of the first big singing get-together without Michael. It was sad, but not as difficult as I expected.

2 years ago I didn’t blog at all between October and January – these things do seem to be cyclical!

and last Christmas
So, um, news… facebookers among you may have picked up already but yes, next summer we three will be 4! A suitable end to the social services saga from earlier this year, and a lovely proper seal on the new family that getting married and getting D parental responsibility for B makes legal and official and everything due first week of June, so hopefully less complicated and clashing with major public holidays than B’s birthday (can you believe he’ll be 4 already?! no, nor me).

This year…?

B’s school concert this morning went really well. I took some pics on my phone but will have to see if they’ve come out ok. He was fab. At one point I thought he was having an attack of shyness and wobbling in the stage fright, but then realised the narrator was saying “he sat down on the ground, put the drum away and cried.” (My heart did go out to the angel from nursery who wept -really- for the duration!) there were times he forgot he had his drum though – it was sitting on the stage in front of him, and he was miming drumming on his knees! obviously thought he was still in practice mode. He was brilliant, marched and drummed, sung and spoke clearly, and even acted as self appointed prompt for one of the narrators! Miss Simons did say at the start, not just switch your phones to silent but your babies too, and Jack must’ve been listening, just giggling and chewing Nana. I’d enlisted mother in law to join me in case D had to work, but it was lovely that we were all able to be there in the end. B was beaming, bursting with pride and soo pleased to see Daddy there too.
One down, two to go.

(can’t remember tagging or anything, but blame Lemly linking for the re-emergence of waffle from the blonde corner)

a true friend is like a good bra – hard to find, lifts you up, gives you support and always close to your heart

Lemly
Ramblin Folkie
Strawberry – early days but trust me on this one!
birdie
Jack
British Standard

(lots of gorgeous blogs not making it on the list, hard to narrow it down)

I’ve done it backwards haven’t I? sorry. So, the things you don’t (or may not) know about me…

my first name
Asperger Syndrome
I’ve had coffee with the ABC
met Nelson Mandela and Princess Anne
pierced tummy button
edward bear!

A lovely mad busy happy family weekend.

Friday night we went straight from B’s swimming lesson to have a pub supper with friends of Dai’s who are just back from Australia – ambitious given the early start planned for Saturday.

Aiming to meet up at Carreg Cennen at 10, we should really have left Uplands before quarter to! Luckily some people were running almost as late as us, and we were able to catch up. D beeped the horn, and the back walkers looked round, thought they didn’t know us until a small blond stripey cannonball hurled itself out of the truck and towards their knees screaming Waaaaaiit! I ran after him, while D went to park and then catch up with us, with the baby in the rucksack on his back. He’d said he couldn’t come with us because of wanting to go for a run, and managed to combine the two! Distraction, encouragement and bribery in the sugar form helped B walk a lot further than last year; he only succumbed to the rescue car the third time he was offered a lift, with only quarter a mile left to Bethlehem where a much warmer chapel than last year greeted us. The packed lunches were gratefully wolfed down before a scrum ensued for the pews nearest the hot water pipes. The children became banderlog and took over the upstairs, noisily, the heavens opened, heavily, and we accepted a lift for the second half, gratefully.

After drying out and changing, we set off for Dai’s cousin’s engagement party, where I was the proverbial fish out of water. Usually D copes very well with my friends or church people etc, whereas I struggle with his family – they are friendly and welcoming but very close knit and very many of them, I am still trying to learn them all even after nearly 2 years of marriage. Add in extreme tiredness and I know I wasn’t at my best. Jack hadn’t met most of them before, and was tired too, so I retreated to an upstairs lounge for some peace to feed. I hope they didn’t find me too antisocial or rude. It was lovely to meet the fiancee properly, they do seem very happy, and catch up with the cousins, the children all had a scream until we eventually tackled them into pyjamas and home for a second late night running.

As Sunday was first of the month, it was a family service with the children staying in church, with an Advent theme. Sadly it seemed to be mostly about father christmas and computers (am I the only person in the world who hasn’t heard of, and misunderstood, “I would like to have a wee for Christmas”?) but again, the kids had a great time. Lunch (running characteristically late – we left 8 minutes for a 20 minute journey, and had to stop for diesel on the way!) was a housegroups’ Christmas party at Nicholaston House, a really beautifully situated retreat house above Oxwich bay. Forty of us sat down to a fabulous three course lunch, and they were so sweet and welcoming to the children – two high chairs and a benjamin, small cutlery, even a spare banana for the baby. Stunning views and lovely to chat to people from other housegroups. We had to leave before the speaker though – Benjamin’s such a little socialite we made tracks for the next party, a crowd of friendly 6 year old girls in Pennard puddle, he was in his element!

Tomorrow is Benjamin’s school concert – he is Toby the drummer boy, wearing his wedding waistcoat (which still fits if he doesn’t try doing it up) and banging his greenbelt drum. I’m still working on the roman soldier look for his role in the church play the following week.

Chaotic and busy but all good!

(Gosh that turned out lots longer than necessary, sorry, thanks for reading if you’re still here!)

… for our children! especially when one is a thesp who loves the limelight, and has the main part in the reception christmas concert, and a bit part that he is hamming as much as possible in the church nativity play, and a flattering but misplaced faith in the abilities of his mother to create costumes that match the ones in his head!!

it is slightly disconcerting and at least a little odd to be planning an Epiphany service while I’m only just coming to terms with Advent, beginning to look forward to Christmas, but writing as if looking back from beyond three weeks hence…

actually, I feel a bit of a fraud on the planning team now. three of the four of us (not me) were licensed by the bishop last Sunday as lay worship leaders, having done a course (I couldn’t go as it was Wednesday nights between Christmas and Easter – clashed with antenatal classes). I’m not certified, but they don’t seem to hold it against me. hope the congregations don’t mind, not sure about authority etc, we are Anglican after all. It was lovely being there for them, but I had a lump in my throat as the Bishop thanked them for their time and gifts and authorised their ministry as lay worship leaders. part of me thought, I want one of those, but then i don’t need a certificate to write, or the bishop’s say so to encourage children to learn and pray.

Quite a lot of what I write, though, I feel I was just holding the pen (or keyboard!) and the words come not from me but just choose me to catch them, a bit like dictation maybe. I enjoy it, and am glad to be useful if any of it helps or speaks to people, but I don’t like taking credit for it. I suppose that comes back to what the bishop said about recognising gifts. I feel like the poor boy of Rosetti’s carol, incredulous that my small offering of time and typing could be as valuable to the baby as the gold, frankincense and myrrh from His more distinguished visitors.

(EmilyLemly told me to get blogging again. there is much of the last 5 months I could or should have told you, but it is easier to start back in gently…!)